Tyra Tyra, you've gone and done it again, manipulated feminist discourse to appear to be pushing the envelope and redefining what conventional beauty is when really you just are investing in smaller envelopes by only letting girls 5'7 and under audition (le petit cycle). Oh, and eliminating any already limited space for plus sized contestants (cause are you really gonna want a 2x4 waddling down the runway--let's be real).
Last night's premiere was, well, two hours of Tyra, so I'm mostly gonna talk about the competition as it stands and mostly the second half of the premiere, because honestly aside for Jaslene no girls ever called for casting and sent home without living in the house goes on to do much of anything with the show or the biz, which Tyra made particularly clear sending them off basically telling them, "Well this sucks 'cause next cycle were going back to the leggy ladies and no agency will bother with you, so, I don't know, go try and be in a commercial or something, SEE YA!"
I think that the element of their height will add significantly to ther perceived sense of agony come all of their elimination because like TLC famed Matt and Amy will tell you, they're little people in a big world (as a side note this short thing could yield some hilarious guest judges--I'm gonna think of that more)!
Tyra pissed me off when cutting down to the final 14 by casting Amber, straw-hatted Jesus freak, but who then mysteriously had to go home after a commercial break (bummer). I'm not sure about that girl, either she was a conspicuous plant who just couldn't make that bit funny, or she was a complete psychopath. Regardless, her departure gave Queens girl Lisa (who is too underwhelming to represent any burrough, even Queens--hell, especially Queens) a second chance.
The house itself, like the first photo shoot, plays up the idea of their petit-statures, looking like its designers drew inspiration from Candy Land, the set of Care Bears and Gymboree. The dynamic within the house seems a little premature to judge, though some girls have steaked types for themselves.
Bloody eye-ball chick, aka Nicole, is a heady outsider with a quiet edge on the competition with her sharp facial angles and confidence in front of the camera. But her pseudo Emersonian demeanor comes across as unjustifiable elitism and apathy. I reasonably forsee a "You have got to make us know you want this" moment with Tyra at panel.
Bianca is a contestant who I initially loved and actually made me tear up during her initial panel with Tyra, Jay and J, talking about reclaiming her identity from an abusive relationship by cutting her hair off and being more true to herself. Loves it. Obvi. But then when they moved in and throughout their Ty-overs (what make overs are now called) and their first shoot she came across as arrogant and ungrateful. Her being in the bottom two with the personality-less Lisa I imagine shot her back into shape and let her know just how much it'd fucking suck to peace.
I was pissed when Lisa went home strictly because I didn't consider her a legitimate contestant to begin with. When the men i white coats came for Amber they snatched Lisa back in and Tyra's acting all as if she was the first one on her mind. Whatever. She sucked, she's gone now.
Girls I love, Laura, a real freagin country girl with the twang and to match and tales of her Grandma sewing her clothes and her days of castrating cows, bah, such a type this one, I love it, so endearing and I can't even stand it, plus she's got waterworks, she cries everytime Tyra opens her mouth, I donno, I like that, it's like a testament to her simplicity.
I also way into Kara for some eason, I do tend to favor the androgynous types and that might be it, but there's totally something about her not all who wander are lost, but I totally know that I can afford that attitude attitude is drawing me to her, who knows.
Then my obvious favorite LuLu, Brooklynite lesbian of color, an ANTM first, I seriously felt a little embarassed, though mostly a little delighted, when I had the same queened-out reaction as Miss J to her coming-out to the panel.
I could go on for more but the important things to take home from the premiere are as follows: shorty fire burning on the runway, recurring conversations about elongating your body, the usual talk of having overcome obstacles, a note absence of a supermodel judge aside from Tyra, and the usual lunacy that is ANTM---just with a few inches shaved off (we ARE in a RECESSION people!).
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